Listening to Red House Painters - Have you forgotten

When a mother gives birth to a new born, she sees a part of herself infront of her
doesnt she...spends lifetimes taking care of it, watching it grow old, making sure at every step she doesnt go wrong, that she doesnt go wrong.

and as she goes through her beautiful adventure full of sacrifices and passion, she grows in her a dream, a perfect person in her mind i.e her child based on what she beleive is right and based on what she holds holy. and like every next mother in a our region, basing all her happiness on how that dream will come true one day.

and when the time comes and you are not acceptable, let alone loved, for who you truely are, rather only acceptable and loveable if you are the opposite of what 'you' beleive, who can dare blame the mother?

its you who is breaking her dream.

Hello

So it is with all desires and affections, all loves and fondnesses which people have for every variety of thing---father, mother, heaven, earth, gardens, palaces, branches of knowledge, acts, things to eat and drink. The man of God realizes that all these desires are the desire for God, and all those things are veils. When men pass out of this world and behold that King without these veils, then they will realize that all those were veils and coverings, their quest being in reality that One Thing. All difficulties will then be resolved, and they will hear in their hearts the answer to all questions and all problems, and every thing will be seen face to face - Rumi (Translated)


Listening to Pachelbe - Cannon. All the lovely people reading this, take a few minutes out of your precious minutes and download it :)

Lately i have been composing a lot, all kinds of stuff...i dared venture into classical style of music without knowing the ABCD of music theory and it was quite beautiful. I MUST get the violins lessons now, the only problem being how to execute the whole plan as a secret!

It is hard to beleive another year is about to end...what a year it has been heh...'pretty good year' as tori sahiba would say.

Having said that i am So looking forward to the next year...there is so much i want to do...music, documentaries, videos, books. So much we as a band have to do.

For those who have listened to Beethoven would see how much this shows in his music

but what a humiliation when one stood beside me and heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard the shepherd singing and again I heard nothing, such incidents brought me to the verge of despair, but little more and I would have put an end to my life - only art it was that withheld me, ah it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon me to produce, and so I endured this wretched existence - truly wretched, an excitable body which a sudden change can throw from the best into the worst state - Patience - it is said that I must now choose for my guide, I have done so, I hope my determination will remain firm to endure until it please the inexorable parcae to bread the thread, perhaps I shall get better, perhaps not, I am prepared

it was a will written by him to his brothers found much later after his death, it is unimaginable though, what he must have gone through as a deaf person.

if someone is not afraid of death, does that mean he is really brave and has reached a state of understanding where not many have or does it mean he sees death as means of release from his today which he is not strong enough to face. a coward not strong enough to kill himself?

it is lovely to meet people who are passionate about one thing or another, to be around people who want to share something they have with all honesty and energy specialy when we live in such a plastic plastic world. child like passion and honesty.

there are times when i have in my own head this whole orchestra running which, fogive me for my lack of modesty, sounds so very beautiful. and i let the moment stay for a while since i know i am not able enough to translate it whole infront of me but i can play it in my head for a while, play with the melody, let the crescendo run wild for a while or make the violins dance in circles with each othere. I remember once i did that for an hour, heh.

There is lack of triumphant music these days i feel...i wish to take a less 'darker' direction in my future endevours, be more grateful for what there is around us. sometimes small things are so beautifuly joyful. like walking in the street of gawalmandi having a moment all with yourself and knowing under this cloud and above it exists someone who loves you more than you can ever deserve. or being in a car just before night sets in and approaching an underpass with not so many cars around and sigur ros on the deck. and approaching the climax, the uplift of the underpass just when the climax hits in the music under the beautiful under pass lights. i love under passes, i want to make a video under them heh. the lights are lovely.

Anyway, Ahmed was reminding me today how much haters i have, it is almost not funny. i mean am i that bad? :( by haters i mean on the musical fronts. Sadaf would agree to me right here, haina? kisee kee bad dua nah lag jaye mujhey

kher, this update was long due and i am sorry that i disapointed you with a long boring rant (what did you expect :P), i feel something big is waiting for you and me. that 2006 IS the year, i can feel it in my bones. you and i are meant for bigger things, better things. you and i are meant for greatness.

inshAllah.

Godspeed all you lovely people :)